This is a Dumb Question....

Finding love and dates is hard with disabilities, this forum can be used to find help in discussing relationships and romance.
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Who_Am_I
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Re: This is a Dumb Question....

Postby Who_Am_I » Mon Jul 28, 2008 6:17 am

For me it brings on a thought of "Oh God Do I Have To I Want To Do Something That's Not Boring"
Last edited by alin0s on Mon Jul 28, 2008 11:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Made proper spaces because it was barely readable!
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RCM

Re: This is a Dumb Question....

Postby RCM » Mon Jul 28, 2008 8:00 pm

MissConstrue wrote:Well it's a must for them to keep their clothes on not real into nudity depending. I had one guy...kinda graphic who wanted to get right to it and that was it for me...it turned me off for some strange reason and you'd think that was suppose to be a turn-on for some people.

Sometimes I'm scared that same situation might pop up and I can never tell if it's because of my AS or not. It's confusing because I hear people say that if a girl doesn't want to get into than she's not interested...which just isn't true in my case. So I think I give up on dating maybe just go out or something without it meaning anything that deep.

That's one thing that I am really not interested in at the moment! I just want to be with the girl, not do that with her! I mean if she wants to do something, then we can! as long as it's not that! and you know very well what I am talking about ;)

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Re: This is a Dumb Question....

Postby pakrat » Sat Oct 11, 2008 2:54 am

Oh drats! I wrote a nice long reply and accidentally hit the save button intead of the post button and I don't know how to get my draft back. :wall:

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Re: This is a Dumb Question....

Postby alin0s » Sat Oct 11, 2008 12:13 pm

pakrat wrote:Oh drats! I wrote a nice long reply and accidentally hit the save button intead of the post button and I don't know how to get my draft back. :wall:


To get the draft back, click User Control Panel in the upper left, Then click drafts, you should be able to find it and post from there. Please note if you typed in a subject that line has been lost and needs to be retyped.
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Re: This is a Dumb Question....

Postby pakrat » Sun Oct 12, 2008 8:47 am

In Australia, the word "date" isn't used as often as "going out" with somebody. As a teenager, I was taught to wait until a boy asked me "out" and if none did - it meant I was a social failure. The danger with that kind of thinking is some of us are later in developing and if we are shy like I was, the boys might think we are stuck up and instead ask somebody who seems friendlier and more outgoing.

So I got a real complex about not being liked and this resulted in my making some unwise decisions that I really regret now.

The idea of a date is nerve-wracking to many people and they worry about things such as "will they say or do something silly?", "are they dressed up well enough?", "what to talk about?", "who is supposed to pay?" etc.

I think I was asexual as a younger teen but then felt I was expected to be interested in males. The main thing I used to look for was a nice face and a good personality. This is still the case now.

MissConstrue - I don't blame your getting scared when a guy moved too fast. It's quite likely he was looking for a conquest and wouldn't have stuck around for long anyway.

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Re: This is a Dumb Question....

Postby pakrat » Sun Oct 12, 2008 8:48 am

alin0s wrote:
pakrat wrote:Oh drats! I wrote a nice long reply and accidentally hit the save button intead of the post button and I don't know how to get my draft back. :wall:


To get the draft back, click User Control Panel in the upper left, Then click drafts, you should be able to find it and post from there. Please note if you typed in a subject that line has been lost and needs to be retyped.
Tnanks for the help :)

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Re: This is a Dumb Question....

Postby alin0s » Sun Oct 12, 2008 12:30 pm

pakrat wrote:
alin0s wrote:
pakrat wrote:Oh drats! I wrote a nice long reply and accidentally hit the save button intead of the post button and I don't know how to get my draft back. :wall:


To get the draft back, click User Control Panel in the upper left, Then click drafts, you should be able to find it and post from there. Please note if you typed in a subject that line has been lost and needs to be retyped.
Tnanks for the help :)


You are welcome, however questions like this should be posted in the DisabledPlanet.net administration area. However since you worded this one that way it was suitable for postage within this thread. Just a reminder to future posting issues :)
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Re: This is a Dumb Question....

Postby pakrat » Fri Oct 17, 2008 9:55 am

Didn't grow up with computers so I get easily confused. :embarrassed:

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Re: This is a Dumb Question....

Postby NotSoAmazngGrace » Sat Oct 03, 2009 12:22 pm

I hate dating. I have been on a total of like twenty 'dates' and was always nervous as can be. I remember one in particular the guy took me bowling and I was so nervous I could not stop laughing the whole time and ended up throwing the ball backwards at him and hitting him. And I nearly went sliding feet first down the lane, as I very nearly fell (I went sliding and almost fell over backwards.). All in all I do not find it an enjoyable experience. (BTW There are no stupid/dumb questions, only stupid/dumb answers, imho.)
'When's lunch?' 'I'm bored!' 'Are we there yet?' 'Mommm, I'm out of books! What again?'

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Re: This is a Dumb Question....

Postby alin0s » Sun Oct 04, 2009 12:19 pm

NotSoAmazngGrace wrote:I hate dating. I have been on a total of like twenty 'dates' and was always nervous as can be. I remember one in particular the guy took me bowling and I was so nervous I could not stop laughing the whole time and ended up throwing the ball backwards at him and hitting him. And I nearly went sliding feet first down the lane, as I very nearly fell (I went sliding and almost fell over backwards.). All in all I do not find it an enjoyable experience. (BTW There are no stupid/dumb questions, only stupid/dumb answers, imho.)


Oh god, that bowling ball incident reminds me of this.



That used to happen to me quite often in early days of bowling. Then I became pretty much awesome and went onto the special olympics bowling, I won state silver, I would have gone national if it were not for me getting put up against some 200 pound bulk kid who probably was on steroids, let alone my physical abilities were diminishing so not bad for having an active disease and winning state.

How to get a strike every time. Carefully walk down the lane and kick all the pins over.

Hope dating is not a big mess for you. :)

:lolfloor: at the bowling alley stuff
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NotSoAmazngGrace
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Disabilities: I have mental disabilities, need further diagnoses, but
am thinking autism spectrum disorder. I have bipolar or
borderline personality disorder, ocd, ptsd, paranoia,
general anxiety disorder, self-injurious behavior,
suicidal ideation, attention defecit disorder, dyscalculia,
and sensory integration disorder. Medical issues: I have
rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, tmj, pcos, acid reflux,
and tendonitis? possibly carpal tunnel? Chronic muscle
spasms - upper and lower back.
Location: Northern England
Contact:

Re: This is a Dumb Question....

Postby NotSoAmazngGrace » Sun Oct 04, 2009 10:32 pm

alin0s wrote:
NotSoAmazngGrace wrote:I hate dating. I have been on a total of like twenty 'dates' and was always nervous as can be. I remember one in particular the guy took me bowling and I was so nervous I could not stop laughing the whole time and ended up throwing the ball backwards at him and hitting him. And I nearly went sliding feet first down the lane, as I very nearly fell (I went sliding and almost fell over backwards.). All in all I do not find it an enjoyable experience. (BTW There are no stupid/dumb questions, only stupid/dumb answers, imho.)


Oh god, that bowling ball incident reminds me of this.



That used to happen to me quite often in early days of bowling. Then I became pretty much awesome and went onto the special olympics bowling, I won state silver, I would have gone national if it were not for me getting put up against some 200 pound bulk kid who probably was on steroids, let alone my physical abilities were diminishing so not bad for having an active disease and winning state.

How to get a strike every time. Carefully walk down the lane and kick all the pins over.

Hope dating is not a big mess for you. :)

:lolfloor: at the bowling alley stuff


rawr i suck at bowling (dating is a mess)
'When's lunch?' 'I'm bored!' 'Are we there yet?' 'Mommm, I'm out of books! What again?'

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Re: This is a Dumb Question....

Postby pakrat » Sat Oct 23, 2010 5:58 am

Yes, the word "date" is something I find daunting too; as if it something really formal that one could easily fail at. In Australia, we only talk about "dating" as we are copying much USA language these days. But when I was younger, we usually talked about "going out with" somebody instead of "dating". For instance, if somebody wanted to go somewhere with someone they liked, they might say "hey, I've got a couple of tickets to see such and such a band, would you like to go with me?' or "would you like to go out with me to Macca's or the local milkbar or wherever (pick one)".

As well as "going out with", we also used "going with" instead of "dating".

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Re: This is a Dumb Question....

Postby spongy » Fri Oct 29, 2010 6:30 am

Date is one of my least favourite words, it brings to much anxiety and I usually end up finding an excuse to avoid the date.


I usually try to find another word/expressions that has a similar meaning. I have no problem hanging out with someone else, going to a small gathering, having something to drink with a girl as long as Im not expected to behave romantically from the start and I can build some confidence during the meeting I´d do just fine and I can start acting like Im supossed to act on a date but for some odd reason Im unable to do this when the other person expects me to do it.


This has made dating far more difficult and Ive had only one long term relationship during wich I refused to be reffered as her boyfriend and we rarely expent time together outside classes. Dont ask me how or why the relationship even started but I was able to expend several years flirting with the same girl without feeling the need to go on a date, whenever we went out she was the one that made the plans and I tried to avoid going until she dragged me along. Eventually I went outside the country for a few months and she got a new boyfriend who was then replaced by another one that had a car(seriously this was the first thing she told me when I asked her how he was).

Lately Ive done some massive improvement on this area (after the diagnosis I started reading about as I realized I needed to make an awfull amount of changes if I wanted to have a stable relationship) and Im thinking about finding a suitable partner(the concept is quite tempting) but Im still trying to find someone that would fall under this category and isnt already taken.
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