GF help

Finding love and dates is hard with disabilities, this forum can be used to find help in discussing relationships and romance.
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Ryano
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GF help

Postby Ryano » Fri Jan 25, 2008 8:34 pm

Okay basically, I haven't got a girlfriend. I want one, but need help with this matter. I know so little about relationships I don't even know how to start one. However, I have found someone who I like. I can not tell if she likes me in return though. Also, I just need help on learning about relationships. I completely suck at this whole thing. :wall:

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alin0s
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Re: GF help

Postby alin0s » Fri Jan 25, 2008 8:50 pm

Ryano wrote:Okay basically, I haven't got a girlfriend. I want one, but need help with this matter. I know so little about relationships I don't even know how to start one. However, I have found someone who I like. I can not tell if she likes me in return though. Also, I just need help on learning about relationships. I completely suck at this whole thing. :wall:


Well, I don't know anything about relationships either. It was my girlfriend who came to me, and then her parents zapped the relationship. :cry: :wall: :cry: :wall:
check out my website at http://www.alinssite.info

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Ryano
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Re: GF help

Postby Ryano » Fri Jan 25, 2008 8:54 pm

Hmmm. Now I think about it. I don't even know what to do in a relationship.
:idea: I think I'll take to watching what the NT's do and try and pick up an idea or three.

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eScential
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Re: GF help

Postby eScential » Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:43 am

My son has found a good wife online, but maybe luck or using the 'secret' to get wants met.

Woodsman25 is doing a great job with his girl right now and may have pointers on other forums.

You need a person who values your talents without a need to change you.

I found foreigners to be more tolerant.

My aspie brother has had two (transyvanian and filipina) neither succeeded, but both lasted many years. They never stopped using abuse to change him and gave up.

My childrens' father is asian and wanted citizenship, current is latino and refuses citizenship, but trying to change me and yells ALOT. So I shut down and now must leave after 20 years to have my own life.
KarmanElektrik
ASD

jmantra

Re: GF help

Postby jmantra » Tue Feb 05, 2008 6:59 pm

Ryano wrote:Okay basically, I haven't got a girlfriend. I want one, but need help with this matter. I know so little about relationships I don't even know how to start one. However, I have found someone who I like. I can not tell if she likes me in return though. Also, I just need help on learning about relationships. I completely suck at this whole thing. :wall:


One suggestion is not necassarily try to meet women, but try to meet new people in general, if you're out public try to start a conversation with someone you have a commonality with, it can be something very silly, like for example a simple transaction at a store, try to strike up a conversation with the cashier if he/she is not busy. There are other great places to meet people such as the book store or the laundromat. Sometimes a conversation can be started with a simple "hi how are you today?" and asking them what they are up to and going from there.

Here is a great site about conversations:

http://www.conversationtalk.com/

Here is a forum I frequent on that deals with dating and relationships, of course it;s geared torwards NTs but I have found it to be very helpful and resouceful:

http://www.enotalone.com/

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age1600
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Tourettes

And...

...so much more that the world has labelled me with but its not going to stop me from living life to the fullest heheh :)
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Re: GF help

Postby age1600 » Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:53 am

Ryano wrote:Okay basically, I haven't got a girlfriend. I want one, but need help with this matter. I know so little about relationships I don't even know how to start one. However, I have found someone who I like. I can not tell if she likes me in return though. Also, I just need help on learning about relationships. I completely suck at this whole thing. :wall:


I've been with my bf for 2 yrs and still learning how this whole relationship thing works. Let me to tell u, its hard, but dont give up. I've learned that sometimes you have to do a lot of things you just dont want to do to make the other person happy. Sometimes you have to risk meltdowns, sensory overloards, overstimulation all to make the other person happy, just know that before going into a relationship. Its all about making the other person happy and make sure you have some you time also to make yourself happy as well.

Affection is usually a big thing as well, I'm horrible in this department, I rarely give kisses or nice hugs, I hate being touched at all, feels like pins and needles unless its tight bear hugs. Anyways I force myself to do things like kisses, hugs, cuddling, being gentle so that other person is satisfied as well.

Communication, ugh thats another department im failing in haha, I have sooo many problems with every type of communication, its like theres a wall there haha. Anyways if you cant speak good with your words, try writing, even typing, try anything that works for you to get what you need to say across, so you dont leave the other person hanging! Also the best time to talk to somebody, is at night, lights off, no distractions, no headaches, no noise, maybe alittle music very low to help set the tone will help as well.

This is for the males, especially know woman looooove to chat, some just love to hear there voices, Make sure you don't dose off, make sure to stay as much as you can attentive, and always know that the girl feels ten times better if she can vent a lot, so just be prepared.

Also be sure to give that person their space, let them hang with friends as much as possible, try not to hang with that person everyday, you may get sick of them too fast, or worse they may get sick of you too fast!

And always remember to compliment the other person, compliments are a must! Never ever put down the other person, try to accept them for they are, therefore no tension between you two would be the best!

Anyways hope i helped you alittle, after two years, its been a struggle, for not just me, for him as well, hes use to the touchy feely all over shopping tons of girlfriends type of gf, whoa was he in for a surprise when he met me hahahha :lol: .
Ticing, stimming, chica from da jersey shore!

The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of them all- Mulan :)

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alin0s
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Re: GF help

Postby alin0s » Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:03 am

age1600 wrote:
Ryano wrote:Okay basically, I haven't got a girlfriend. I want one, but need help with this matter. I know so little about relationships I don't even know how to start one. However, I have found someone who I like. I can not tell if she likes me in return though. Also, I just need help on learning about relationships. I completely suck at this whole thing. :wall:


I've been with my bf for 2 yrs and still learning how this whole relationship thing works. Let me to tell u, its hard, but dont give up. I've learned that sometimes you have to do a lot of things you just dont want to do to make the other person happy. Sometimes you have to risk meltdowns, sensory overloards, overstimulation all to make the other person happy, just know that before going into a relationship. Its all about making the other person happy and make sure you have some you time also to make yourself happy as well.

Affection is usually a big thing as well, I'm horrible in this department, I rarely give kisses or nice hugs, I hate being touched at all, feels like pins and needles unless its tight bear hugs. Anyways I force myself to do things like kisses, hugs, cuddling, being gentle so that other person is satisfied as well.

Communication, ugh thats another department im failing in haha, I have sooo many problems with every type of communication, its like theres a wall there haha. Anyways if you cant speak good with your words, try writing, even typing, try anything that works for you to get what you need to say across, so you dont leave the other person hanging! Also the best time to talk to somebody, is at night, lights off, no distractions, no headaches, no noise, maybe alittle music very low to help set the tone will help as well.

This is for the males, especially know woman looooove to chat, some just love to hear there voices, Make sure you don't dose off, make sure to stay as much as you can attentive, and always know that the girl feels ten times better if she can vent a lot, so just be prepared.

Also be sure to give that person their space, let them hang with friends as much as possible, try not to hang with that person everyday, you may get sick of them too fast, or worse they may get sick of you too fast!

And always remember to compliment the other person, compliments are a must! Never ever put down the other person, try to accept them for they are, therefore no tension between you two would be the best!

Anyways hope i helped you alittle, after two years, its been a struggle, for not just me, for him as well, hes use to the touchy feely all over shopping tons of girlfriends type of gf, whoa was he in for a surprise when he met me hahahha :lol: .


That is so great that you have been with your boyfriend for two years. I sadly lost my girlfriend who had CP last year. Not to death luckily, her parents cut me off because they did not like how huggy kissy I was. See I have no problems in the physical affection department, but never expect me to have sex. Communication is where I really blow, since its hard for me to let the other person talk about their interests because I become bored so easily. :( Giving her some space was a real issue. I was there every day on the weekends, but we never saw each other during the week. On the weekend I'd spend all day there. Complimentation was always a easy thing for me, I used to love how cuddly she was and I would frequently tell her that i love that.

Will I ever find a girl like her again. Probably not. Though I do have some hope with someone on WrongPlanet known as IdahoRose, I don't know when we will ever physically meet. Though from how we communicate online I know she has got to be perfectly suitable for me!
check out my website at http://www.alinssite.info

RCM

Re: GF help

Postby RCM » Mon May 19, 2008 2:29 am

Parents can be a pain sometimes I know, but I broke up with my GF this year, a few months ago, do to the fact that she was abusing me, not treating me right, and cheating on me! BTW she has CP, she made me look bad in front of her parents by telling them I never returned her phone calls, which I did!

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alin0s
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Re: GF help

Postby alin0s » Mon May 19, 2008 11:48 am

RCM wrote:Parents can be a pain sometimes I know, but I broke up with my GF this year, a few months ago, do to the fact that she was abusing me, not treating me right, and cheating on me! BTW she has CP, she made me look bad in front of her parents by telling them I never returned her phone calls, which I did!


Odd, your girlfriend was abusing you and had CP. Every single girl I have known who has CP is absolutely hot and very nice and caring, its probably something to do with certain cerebral palsies. As they do affect the patients cognitive status sometimes.
check out my website at http://www.alinssite.info

RCM

Re: GF help

Postby RCM » Mon May 19, 2008 5:02 pm

alin0s wrote:
RCM wrote:Parents can be a pain sometimes I know, but I broke up with my GF this year, a few months ago, do to the fact that she was abusing me, not treating me right, and cheating on me! BTW she has CP, she made me look bad in front of her parents by telling them I never returned her phone calls, which I did!


Odd, your girlfriend was abusing you and had CP. Every single girl I have known who has CP is absolutely hot and very nice and caring, its probably something to do with certain cerebral palsies. As they do affect the patients cognitive status sometimes.

Yes, certain ones do, but she's out of my life now and I'm happy about it :P

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alin0s
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Re: GF help

Postby alin0s » Mon May 19, 2008 5:05 pm

RCM wrote:
alin0s wrote:
RCM wrote:Parents can be a pain sometimes I know, but I broke up with my GF this year, a few months ago, do to the fact that she was abusing me, not treating me right, and cheating on me! BTW she has CP, she made me look bad in front of her parents by telling them I never returned her phone calls, which I did!


Odd, your girlfriend was abusing you and had CP. Every single girl I have known who has CP is absolutely hot and very nice and caring, its probably something to do with certain cerebral palsies. As they do affect the patients cognitive status sometimes.

Yes, certain ones do, but she's out of my life now and I'm happy about it :P


Indeed, I don't see that quality in all people with cerebral palsy. But a certain group of them have it and its very easily recognizable. I have a friend in the UK, his name is Chris, he goes by the name Mobile Tobii. He is extremely nice and caring and he is the kind of guy id give a big tight long :huggles: to when I see him. I hope to visit him in the next year or two. Probably will move to the UK before I turn 25.
check out my website at http://www.alinssite.info

RCM

Re: GF help

Postby RCM » Mon May 19, 2008 6:38 pm

It's VERY easy to tell, because she can't use one of her hands, and she can't walk.

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alin0s
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Re: GF help

Postby alin0s » Mon May 19, 2008 6:49 pm

RCM wrote:It's VERY easy to tell, because she can't use one of her hands, and she can't walk.


No no no.. I am not talking about the CP its self... I am talking about their hotness and caring niceness..
check out my website at http://www.alinssite.info

RCM

Re: GF help

Postby RCM » Mon May 19, 2008 6:51 pm

alin0s wrote:
RCM wrote:It's VERY easy to tell, because she can't use one of her hands, and she can't walk.


No no no.. I am not talking about the CP its self... I am talking about their hotness and caring niceness..


Let's see, she was indeed very pretty! :mrgreen: since she doesn't want me to put a picture of her up online, I'll PM you one.

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alin0s
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Re: GF help

Postby alin0s » Mon May 19, 2008 7:02 pm

RCM wrote:
alin0s wrote:
RCM wrote:It's VERY easy to tell, because she can't use one of her hands, and she can't walk.


No no no.. I am not talking about the CP its self... I am talking about their hotness and caring niceness..


Let's see, she was indeed very pretty! :mrgreen: since she doesn't want me to put a picture of her up online, I'll PM you one.


I don't know why. But for some reason people with CP tend to attract me.
check out my website at http://www.alinssite.info


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