Socializing Seems so Stressful.

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MissConstrue
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Disabilities: Seizures, Aspergers, and Major Depression Disorder.
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Socializing Seems so Stressful.

Postby MissConstrue » Mon Aug 03, 2009 11:57 am

Lately I've felt real lonely and isolated.
On one hand, I'd love to go and make friends..even date.
But everytime I make the effort, I feel like I have to invest a little too much of myself.

For one, I get real nervous and have trouble in how people percieve me.
I was diagnosed some years ago...so now I feel more conscious about my aspergers.
Another problem I have, I don't know how to tell people I want to be left alone for a while.
I either come off rude or I get taken the wrong way when I don't feel like dealing with anyone.

But I hate being alone. Not sure how to deal with people b/c of this problem.
I've always had trouble in keeping up with people's schedules and I just can't follow their regimes.
I'm also somewhat of a bore...you know not the outgoing type. :(
Oh you can't help that. We're all mad here.
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rikki-inside
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Disabilities: DISSA BILLY TEE ·
People's narrow minds

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Location: Kent, England
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Re: Socializing Seems so Stressful.

Postby rikki-inside » Mon Aug 03, 2009 2:42 pm

MissConstrue wrote:Lately I've felt real lonely and isolated.
On one hand, I'd love to go and make friends..even date.
But everytime I make the effort, I feel like I have to invest a little too much of myself.

For one, I get real nervous and have trouble in how people percieve me.
I was diagnosed some years ago...so now I feel more conscious about my aspergers.
Another problem I have, I don't know how to tell people I want to be left alone for a while.
I either come off rude or I get taken the wrong way when I don't feel like dealing with anyone.

But I hate being alone. Not sure how to deal with people b/c of this problem.
I've always had trouble in keeping up with people's schedules and I just can't follow their regimes.
I'm also somewhat of a bore...you know not the outgoing type. :(


So what you need are people who are like you, then you will feel comfortable and you can all have a laugh together and invest energy in talking about the things you enjoy. Then you wont be boring. Because "Boring" is a relative term. You do not need to be outgoing to not be boring. Is someone who is quiet yet incredibly intellectual boring? No. They may not be party freaks but they can hold solid and engaging conversation.

Easier said then done. So look at yourself and see what things you would like to do. Socialising does not all have to be about going to the pub and being around people who you generally wont get anywhere with. Join some regular group that meets. Or do community-volunteer work. Volunteering changed my life and had a huge hand in enhancing many of my qualities and skills. And you don't have to be the one to entertain because it will always be a group effort. And as it is community, people are most likely to be more understanding of you and your needs. Also, you wont be FORCED to have to socialise with people because you will be focusing on the activity the group is involved in. Then in your own time you can watch people, suss out who you would like to approach, and gradually approach them over time.

And you know what, if people "take something the wrong way" that is THEIR problem. As long as you are asking to be left alone respectfully they should be open minded enough to be understanding and not "take offense" when offense is not there to be taken. People are responsible for their own feelings.

*hugs* :)
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