No one knew there was nothing wrong with me when I was a child except i was like very quiet
and most people like children being quiet so i didnt have no assessments or thearpy.
Except when I was 14 and 15 drugged out with too many medications for epilepsy that proberly never had and had antidepressants from a psych but no thearpy. Some time from 16 to early 20's I had ADHD diagnosis and i think all the other times wasnt thearpy but court psych evalutions which they just put complex partial seizures or it was my personality or it was because I was on drugs or something.
Then at 25 I had CRS send me for a neuropsychologist evalution comes out learning disability permanent in nature and so they put me on the disability support pension and i joined job club that helps people with disabilities get work. I spent a short time in psych ward when I was 22. Then at 28 or maybe 29. A forsenic psychologist wrote a report under the Mental Illness Criminal Code (mental Impairment) Act that I have a multitude of psychiatric problems PTSD, personality dis etc etc and my culpability in relation to allegations has been significantly diminished by virtue of her condition.
It was no major crime. The police just thought I was a bit crazy. So legal aid hired a forsenic psych to do an assessment. He put in the report that whatever the outcome of her pending court case I require considerable support by way of structured supervision and treatment.
So ever since I have seeked out counselling, kind of. I see a clinical psychologist I really like and she did an assessment and believes I have autism that was just this year and then I get this schizophrenic diagnose and then Borderline Personality Disorder diagnose recently with adjustment disorder and decompensation or something, li think i can experience psychosis even though I do not have schizophrenia.
I have a high average IQ. An autism is mild, mild learning disability so everyhting is mild and that is my life story and yeah i see that psychologist at the 'Thearpy Clinic' so I must get thearpy. It hasnt been much consistent for awhile and she felt that she couldnt help me no more or the time I was being seen by mental health service or was in some kind of psychosis if you could call or was having delusions. I can see that now. I didnt tell anyone what I was thinking at that time. I thought everyone knew anyway and that it was real. It's only when I came out of it realising none of it was real. I have told a few close friends since and that it.
Just Please pleasssee say it is over. No more. I really want to get out of this and get a life.
I need a life get it back some how.
I need goals thats all. I can work towards.